Team 2015

Ladies Cricket Debut

Well it’s been 201 years in the planning, but Keyworth CC Ladies made their debut at the Denby Softball Cricket Festival today. Admirably supported by the ranks of “Barry’s Barmy Army” we were the best and most vocally supported team as Keyworth took over Denby for the day.

What started out as ladies social cricket, with the idea to have a few sessions throughout the summer, developed into a weekly Friday night event  and culminated with “Denby Day” a Kwik cricket format competition.

Well the ladies did us proud, they looked the part all in black in Keyworth v neck shirts and club caps. Playing in a league format with four other teams they played four,  won two, lost two.

First up for the ladies were “The Nurses” a team of mixed ages and abilities. Thanks to some excellent fielding and great bowling by Claire Till, our very own Jimmy Anderson, with her first three wicket haul, the ladies restricted the Florence Nightingales to 220 runs. After an injury scare and passing a late fitness test Nicola Anderson stopped baking the delicious cup cakes and joined Pope in opening our batting and gave Barry’s Babes, scratch that,  due to political correctness are now to be called Barry’s Army, a good start. This was followed by a good all round batting performance by the ladies which saw us running out with a comfortable 26 run win with the loss of only 2 wickets. Early nerves were abating.

Next up were  Notts and Arnold 1sts “The Cheeky Chicks”. Again a mix of ages and ability but with some girls county players in there ranks, we expected a tough game. The Keyworth Ladies were taken aback by the sight of The Notts and Arnold Ladies using proper ‘wooden’ cricket bats, but this only spurred their competitive nature on more. Some great fielding all round and a brilliant stumping from Jade Pope, helped restrict the big hitting opposition to 270. Again Pope and Anderson opened the batting with Pope plundering 2 boundaries with her recently acquired proper cricket bat. They were followed by Boom Boom Rocket Rummery and Lightning Lewis, the Rocket was on fire as she smashed 4 boundaries on her way to 19 not out, superbly backed up by Lightning’s long hits but this was to no avail as we ran out losing by 12 runs, but spirits were still high and confidence was still good.

After a well timed picnic break, where the Newells enjoyed there posh snap leftovers from T20 Finals Day the day before, the ladies were ready for more!

Next up were Notts and Arnold 2nds “The Crazy Birds”, again Captain Dakin won the toss and elected to field. Our demon bowler Claire Till took her 4th wicket, Hayley Doran took the catch of the day at mid wicket, taking out their danger bats lady, a strong all round performance restricted the opposition to 257, a below par target, the ladies were confident. Another solid team batting performance was rounded off by a good third innings partnership from Newell and Doran with Anna smashing 3 boundaries. This left Dakin and Till needing 11 runs to steer the team home in the pouring rain, both batted well, didn’t lose their nerve, protected there wickets and scored 16 runs to bring a second victory in.

After a brief delay for rain the ladies last match was upon them, up last were South Derbyshire a team of young girls who were obviously seasoned cricketers, again Jacqui’s double sided headed coin came in handy as she won the toss again and put the opposition into bat. The young girls had obviously watched the last over of the World T20 final and were hitting sixes for fun Carlos Braithwaite style and despite a fine stumping from Doran, they racked up an impressive total of 320 runs. We were never in it, but batted well and played with the spirit of the game in knocking off 222 against a strong young team, the ladies did us proud.

A great performance by the Keyworth Mums, we know where their sons get there talent from (Paul Newell)!! with an average age of 45 the ladies have got the bug, nothing too serious, but plenty of fun and enjoyment.

Winter practise, nights out and a presentation evening are being planned already, if you want to join in with the Ladies Social Cricket revolution please contact

Sunday Sub County

We host a U13 Notts Sub County rep game at the New Field of Dreams on Sunday 2pm start. Bar and BBQ fully stocked.

John Kettley Is A Weatherman

Bim Phoenix reports on the all conquering U13s….

We returned to the fortress straight off the back of a superlative championship winning victory over Caythorpe, in which we cemented our position at the summit of the Newark league, in our final league match of the season.

Each delivery of that epic victory, had been beamed live to me by satellite to Manchester, via Mr Daker`s palm pilot, whilst he sat like Steve McQueen in his sweltering cooler scorebox. To have felt as proud as I did, sat in Las Iguanas tapas restaurant in Manchester , lord only knows how Mr D must have felt pitch-side. The boys put everything they had learnt together in one magnificent performance, to nullify the sub county swelled Caythorpe squad. Well done fellas!!!

This match was the Quarter final of the Cup v Flintham CC. Not satisfied with just the glory of the championship, like Clough and Taylor we want a clean sweep, and are eyeing up the double!

Flintham had proved one of the more testing teams in our league efforts, and had run us pretty close earlier in the season. Barry the plummy bouncing opposition coach was there promptly. Unsurprisingly before myself, but not Mr D, who as usual, insisted on having everything ready the night before. His beloved mini goal/ catching pods / crab nets call them what you may , again lay pristine and untouched. The boys were being rallied in the nets by Steve Singh, who had ably assisted as ump in the Caythorpe nail biter. If anyone had wondered where Josh obtained his rubber limbed delivery action, then you need to look no further than Senior Singh, as flipped down a couple of wrist dislocating stingers to The Hammer and Willie Wilson, who were already padded and ready for the off.

Barry steamed over towards Christoff and myself like a jilted Pamplona Bull. Now Barry had previously entertained us in the league fixture, with his high technology umpiring app, that actually didn’t seem to retain the score quite as well as Mr Daker`s grey matter and his pencil, but never the less there it was firmly in his mitt. “ Do you think we should reduce the overs?“ he spouted immediately. Chris and I exchanged a brief look of bewilderment. “ Err…. Why Barry?“ we responded in unison. It was then that Barry`s iphone went into overdrive. “ My satellite weather reading shows that at precisely 7.20 the heavens above Platt Lane will open and we will be flooded asunder by the most dreadful storm ever witnessed!“ Well, not actually as dramatic as that, but along those lines.

Chris refused to buckle under the pressure of Barry`s emotional weather forecast and thrust his own BBC weather app in front of his mince pies. It was looking like it could be a weather app dual, but Bazzer eventually backed down and paced back towards his team mumbling something about the black clouds.

There have been many great double acts, Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, Torville and Dean, Les Dennis and Dustin Gee, but these two were the newest double act success to hit the cricketing squares of Notts. Willie Wilson and The Hammer Hammond had been on fire all season, and retirement knocks from our star opening pairing were a regular occurrence. Willie had left his kit in his dad`s car, resulting on Rodger speeding to the ground like a donor organ ambulance with helmet and bat and gloves to save Mr Wilson`s cricketing life. Tom had borrowed temporary attire and it appeared to trouble him in the early exchanges with the Flintham openers. The Flints skipper and fellow sub county team mate of Willie`s, Jake Carteledge flew in like a Russian gymnast and fizzed the ball through to the keeper. With a screech of brakes and rising cloud of dust Rodger entered the car park like Luke Duke in the General Lee, and Willie`s cricketing heart transplant could take place.

From then on, Tom and the Hammer tore the Flintham attack into tiny ribbons. With cultured pounding of the loose balls tempered by fine defensive dexterity on the straight ones, the score grew quicker than interest in Paul Pogba`s ISA, with Tom hitting his retirement score in an astounding five and a half overs. The Hammer soon joined his cricketing blood brother back in the pavilion, with another 35 to his name, and we were already nearing a score that could be bowled at.

Finley Wacksome Jackson and Josh The Stinger Singh were sent to the track. Now, it`s often difficult to wait boundary side, padded up watching the earlier batsmen take apart the bowling like a pack of rabid Hyena, then have to emulate the previous destroyers efforts, but that’s exactly what they did.

I had had a brief word with Wacksome prior to the innings about not trying to score every delivery, and just wait for the loose ones. Whether he had absorbed this or not that’s exactly what transpired. Fin batted with elegant, effortless almost Tom Graveney like style, and was superbly backed up by Singhy at the other end, and the runs kept on coming. A beautiful sugar coating was applied with a cracking final ball four for Wacksome to hit his 35 retirement and receive the generous applause from the assembled gallery, and also for Josh who had nearly 20 to his tally. We posted our highest total ever at 148 for none! And three retired, a stunning batting performance. As we walked off, I indicated to Barry that being 7.25 it was a miracle. that not only were we still alive, we had failed to be flushed from the earths face by his predicted impending biblical storm. No response was received to this enquiry however.

Out to grass, and instructions from the management team to go for the throat. Alex full flow Roe and No 2 Son by orders of Willie Wilson to open up full throttle. Full flow was his usual fluent self and seamed the ball passed the openers stumps consistently but unluckily without and edge or a stump hit to show for his eager work with the leathered cherry. The Flints tall solid opening pairing looked more agricultural than technical and flat batted full flow a couple of times and also No2 son in his first over. A rare four off RBP and his chest heaved and his anger was tempered into focus. His second and third overs were crafted like a Rodin sculpture. He first claimed the hard hitting farm hand with a tumbled bowled as he attempted to power the ball into the finely brewed golden ales on display at the Plough Normanton beer festival and was sent packing. His next victim was especially sweet. His pal and sub county team mate, skipper Carteledge calmly walked to the wicket and confidently announced that he had retired in pretty much every game he had played thus far.

A few raised eyebrows from our boys accompanied this statement, and I suggested to Mighty Mellor as he returned next to me at square leg, that his record could come unstuck with No2 son in this mood. A first ball Yorker was played solidly back, but a second that rose of the track like a striking Cobra nicked the edge and was superbly taken face high by The Hammer behind the sticks! He stood rooted at the crease in motionless disbelief, Bazzer couldn’t avoid raising the finger of doom, and he pointed the hapless run machine back to the pavilion for a second ball duckling. More misery was to ensue as the remaining big lad opener, spooned up No 2`s final ball of a drum tight over to The Howitzer, whose massive bucket like palms engulfed the pip and claimed a fine sprawling double handed catch. We were right into the marrow of their batting order now, so an opportunity to pass the bowling right through the squad with an unattainable total to reach.

Dobbo Dobson`s fine pacey flippers caused concern and returned with a couple of victims for his stealthy efforts. Junior Dakers bowled with fine measure and was unlucky not to find the edge or stumps after some excellent work. Tom Mighty Mellor`s recently increased pace combined with metronome regularity returned with a scalp, and also a crafted caught wicket for Rhys At The Crease Jenkins off his fine fluttering moth like devilish spinners . Willie Wilson and Stinger Singh were left to mop up the tail . The final ball was bowled to claim the last Flints wicket, albeit from a calamitous run out, with them finishing 101 all out.

Barry was gracious in defeat and shook hands warmly, before racing off at high speed. This was obviously to avoid his 4×4 being washed off the A46 by the impending Noah like downpour that had no doubt appeared on his satellite map just as he climbed in the cockpit.

Once again I left poor old Christoff to do the donkey work as he folded away his resplendently clean lobster nets, and I headed off for 5 a side ( always a good excuse!)

Next up the Semi. The boys are now on a cricketing wave crest and full of confidence. Keep it up and let`s see how far we can go!! Onwards and upwards!

300 AC

Andy Cowlard made his 300th appearance for the Millers yesterday, just the 16th player to reach that milestone in our 200 year history. After 20 years in Keyworth colours AC has taken more than 300 wickets, scored over 3000 runs, and drunk at least that many cans of Fosters from Bobby’s Bar. Well done AC and hopefully plenty more to come once that knee gets stitched back together.

Euro 16 Kick Off

Eric Watson

It is with sadness to report that Eric lost his battle with motor neurone disease on Monday 16 May, he was 76 years old.

For so many years Eric had spent his Saturday afternoon sitting on the boundary at Keyworth Cricket matches helping out in the background with jobs around the pavilion and taking out drinks to the players. In the past he had been a very significant member making 209 appearances for KCC between 1952 and 1968, often as a wicket keeper mixed in with spells when he also played for Willoughby CC. Eric was the KCC Club Secretary in the 1960’s when the club suffered from a lack of players and almost folded. Eric, with others, helped re-build it and over the past decade had been a significant volunteer in helping KCC run their successful Annual Schools’ Festival in support of Simon Tuckwell.

In 2012 we made Eric an Honorary Life Vice President which we know made him very proud.

Eric was a former Keyworth United full back and later managed their 1st XI and as with KCC he was a constant presence in support on the touchline and both the clubs were an important part of his life.

We don’t have a funeral date yet but it was Eric’s wish that his wake takes place down at Platt Lane and a trophy is named after him in his memory and we will do our best to ensure that happens.

Sorry to be the bearer of such sad news. Rest In Peace, Eric.

When The North Wind Blows

Bimmer reports on the U13s trip to the Frozen North

After our super opening win against a strong Flintham squad, our next foe were a pretty much unknown quantity in a Coddington CC side haling from the Eastern backwoods of Newark On Trent.

An unspectacular little village, who`s only claim to fame is some very minor ruins of a very old windmill, and the fact the A17 built in 1937 flows through its meagre conurbation of houses, which houses a total of 1,648 individuals. Not an ideal catchment for creating an under 13`s cricket team?

I rocked up a little behind timescales, sweating heavily after a whistle stop child care juggling scenario, which basically involved me throwing Oakley into Mrs P`s open car window whilst in full flow along Normanton Lane in my stealth wagon!

Mr Dakers had, as always got everything organised to the finest detail. Flags out, measured to 1.25 meter distances, stumps and bails installed, chairs and tables  dragged to the boundary, freshly cooled water bottles etc etc etc.

Coddington it could be said ,could have done with some Dakin like organisation. They had arrived in splintered form. Only 7 players pitch side, with the remaining chards at various points of the A46 between Platt lane and Newark. The ones that had made it were a rag tailed bunch. As noisy as a rooster with a megaphone, their unorthodox warm up routine basically involved the pre-pubescent boys chasing the two girls in their ranks, and trying to rugby tackle them, All without any cricketing based equipment in sight.

Mike the Codds coach, was a friendly fine featured gentleman with sensible outdoor clothing. Cloaked in a fine goose down lined North face Gillet and rugged full length cargo pants, he wore a smile of wind proof confidence. I, on the other hand, had once again committed the Platt Lane clothing schoolboy error to the highest level. My standard coaching outfit  of shorts and t shirt felt fine within the confines of Phoeno towers, and its positively luxurious sensibly monitored temperatures. And whilst rustling up some pre match scrambled egg on toast for No 2 son  , this clothing was bordering on uncomfortable. In the car on the way to the ground the ambient temperature shown in my digital car display was 18 degree with accompanied sunshine- perfect!

But never be fooled by high tech barometers, because the Platt Lane eco climate is like nothing on earth. The laser like North wind, scuds down the hillside and cuts you to the marrow, piercing into your soul, leaving behind a frozen limp numbed shivering shell. All extra layers had been claimed by the surprisingly large gathering of parents , who had all obviously been fooled by the conditions, but rather sensibly had  Bear Grylls emergency clothing rations. Jane and Roger had also kindly provided a team sized camp chair and blanket which could accommodate most of the batting order.

We were on Newark orders again and were to don the pads. The Force North showing some uncharacteristic nerves, had indicated his wish to drop down the order after struggling with his bat and confidence in the last match. Christoff and I agreed to try and fit him in elsewhere, and we sat at the scoring table like two chess grand masters, scratching our heads. Having to set our batting order now, is like being on Mastermind with a specialised subject of history of the most difficult mastermind questions ever. Willie Wilson and The Hammer who  was to replace the force were to open. Willie fresh from first match retirement was cucumber cool as always, with the Hammer shuffling and bouncing to the wicket alongside, they looked hungry for runs, and they didn’t disappoint. A steady start, progressed to a full on dismantling of the the Codds early bowlers.

The boys relentlessly bolstered the ball toward the boundary marker and quite regularly at the expense of poor old Jamie. He had been placed in Willies favoured deep square birth, and Tom administered almost continual peppering the Codders Timmy Mallet lookalike. Admittedly they were not the most taxing of attacks, but with bowling of this nature, concentration is the key to returning a score. A lapse of focus on a straight one and that could be that. Willie and The Hammer maintained their composure and played as steadily as a dead whale on an orthopaedic bed. The question was which would retire first. Christoff`s bellows of their rapidly increasing tally’s stirred them further, and Willie took the crowds applause first, and was almost immediately followed  by the hammer!

This was the first time that we have had both openers had retire, a great effort!

In came Fin Whacksome Jackson and Alex Full Flow Roe. These two were slightly more measured in their approach, but there shot making grew and so did the score. Christoffs voice was becoming hoarser every over, such was his joy at announcing our ever flowing total. He eased off soon after for fear of end up sounding like Sean Dyche with laryngitis .

With the score rattling past one hundred, Full Flow Roe toe ended a drive to cover and was claimed after a very useful stint. The Force now in his lowered roll of no 5 had emerged from the pile of blankets on the boundary and sprinted like a stung tiger towards the wicket. My calls of ‘relax Josh!’, flew over his head and into the adjacent field as he sped past, with his enormous lucky pads flailing in the stiff wind like a clippers mainsail. Unfortunately for the Force, the only consistently  dangerous Codders bowler returned. He then proceeded to fizz a middle stump yorker into the Force`s sticks for a golden water bird. He teetered for a moment on his toes like a new born Giraffe. Then almost immediately regained his strength, pulled back his shoulders, and strode back to the pavilion head high, you could sense then, he would make amends.

No 2 son had the dilemma of coming in for the last 4 balls with 130 already on the board, but a couple of solid pulls he managed to secure a rare not out along with Whacksome, who`s mature innings of imp quick singles, and smart powerful cricket shots, left him with a fine bat carrying mid twenty haul.

Overs bowled and we had returned our best score ever. 134 for 2. (with two retirements)

With a solid total of that magnitude Willie announced his idea to give everyone some bowling input. He opened up with Tom Mighty Mellor and Angus Angie Simpson. Angie`s butterfly light floating deliveries, caused ball after ball of trouble. At the other end, Mr Mellor who must have spent the winter months ankle deep in a John Innes compost bag such is his rapid growth, trundled in and looped in his first delivery and the Codds skipper who spooned the ball up to Whacksome at silly mid-off.

Next paring of Dakers Junior and Josh Stinger Singh appeared and the ball either zipped past the stumps or was uneasily prodded back down the track. The Codds runs were shorter than antman`s address book .

This pattern continued as the young Millers showed the depth of quality that is throughout the squad. The wonderfully improved slow left arm cultured wobble balls of Fin Dobbo Dobson hit the mark, followed up by some military medium streamline seam from No2 son. A couple of lightening Meerkat quick overs from Whacksome and then the arrival of a returning Northerly . The Force when asked by Willie if he would like to bowl didn’t shrink back into his shell to mope about his previous misfortune with the willow, like a tortoise with a surprisingly visible carbuncle. To shouts of “yes please“ he bounded over like a Labrador on a pogo stick. His cultured flippers then danced through the air bamboozling the Coddington batters. A swift Hammer stumping was rapidly followed by a Full Flow catch and a direct hit bowled. The huddled spectators and myself had witnessed all evening the force of the Northerly wind as it tore into our bruised blue carcases, but with my numb hands struggling to grasp my faithful 6 dirty counting aids a warming thaw had finally returned via the joyous face of the Force North who`s triple wicket salvo and had erased any thought of his earlier batting mishap.

The final over was delivered by Willie Wilson replacing his usual high octane pace with respectful slow spin to avoid any possible Codders injury. Innings completed with Coddington struggling to 54 for 6.

Mike shook my cold hand warmly in defeat as he was as toasted as freshly cooked jacket potato in a sleeping bag, wrapped in his thermally efficient daywear.

Summary- another fine victory. Great batting , super bowling from the entire squad.  And some fine stand out individual performances.- Onwards and upwards

Singh-ing At The Lane

It’s like Eurovision, utter rubbish but you can’t help but smile, the return of the Bim Phoenix match report.

Well were back!

It feels like we have only just finished the cricket season courtesy of Mr Dakers SAS styled waterboarding winter cricket roster, and we are already bouncing into Spring with a bloated fixture schedule to worry the massed parents and associated carers of our fledgling cricketers.

Mr Dakers full on training schedule was magnificent prior to the Christmas break in the positive luxury of Trent Bridge, with its manicured foyer, supersonic lift and pristine array of nets.  His continued commitment after Christmas was highlighted in his constant travelling pursuit of sporting venues in the East Midlands, searching for available cricketing practice space. Eventually after bunging the caretaker at Farnborough school with an unlimited supply of four bird Iceland roasts, he struck lucky, and the boys continued their education most Saturdays throughout the first quarter of this year.

This coincided, with some Clough / Taylor like tapping up of potential defectors from rival forces. With the persistence of JR Hartley in search of his fly fishing paperback, we stealthily prised a few cricket nuggets from the goldmine seems of West Bridgfordians, and most pleasantly from our good friends Plumtree. The arrival of Josh `Stinger` Singh, and Alex `Full Flow` Roe from Bridgford, and Finley `Whack-some` Jackson enabled us to fill our squad’s ability tank to the rafters.

Our first match of the season was a swift blast down the Fosse to the home of Flintham Cricket Club. This club have come a long way from when the old home pitch was across the Fosse at the disused Syerston Airfield. A secluded rose bowl ground, new but beautifully traditional, was awaiting our eager pups. Barry the ebullient home coach greeted us warmly, and indicated that he was pleased to be able to allow the fixture following a recent tsunami in the area causing his outfield to droop. It looked magnificent from the boundary. However, a short walk toward the wicket, and we sank into the emerald quicksand ankle deep. If it were a pudding Mary Berry would have had a seizure, such was the sogginess of its bottom. We agreed to put up with the Somme like bogginess and get down to business. Barry with mobile in hand, chirpily announced the future to all umpiring at grass roots level. A superior umpiring APP, that gives you accurate readings of the players shot making, averages, runs per millisecond, calories lost per ball, and so on. I agreed at the marvel that is modern technology, and proceeded to collect six dirty stones up from the car-park to use as my high tech officials counting device.

The Flints as home side and as the law of the land in the Newark League were to bat first. Mr Dakers prized paddle bats were removed from the kit bag looking worse for wear due to Chris`s off season marital shenanigans!! I suggested Jackie should be asked to provide new grips on this basis. Christof as always took this in good humour, although his blush like a teenager on a promise told the story! The lads’ energy in the in warm ups was infectious and with the vigour of Hugh Heffner after a long holiday they bounded out to field.

We had shuffled the pack due to the increased bowling quality that had arrived closed season, and given the job of wicket minder to Ollie The Hammer Hammond. This wonderful young man, could attempt any sporting task and would be accomplished at the highest level. As soon as the gloves and pads were donned, he looked at home. Skipper Tom Willie Wilson was to open with new signing Alex` Full Flow` Roe and devastation was imminent. These two bowled with Vardy like pace, and the precision of a Swiss watch maker with extra steady hands and two sets of reading glasses. Willie destroyed two batsmen`s stumps in his first over. Full Flow then accounted for another in his second over. The Flints were all at sea, there only saving grace was their skipper. A mate of Wack-some from sub county, the Flints blond surf dude front man was solid and lusty with his shot making and gathering a score to add some respectability to their total. The pairing of Fin `Whack-some` Jackson and Josh `Stinger` Singh was a turning point. They were both primed. With Fin attempting to fell his buddy, and Stinger fuming, after a Dukes of Hazard style cross country rally car run from a full football match only an hour earlier. Whack-some`s wispy pace caused immediate concern, but Stinger was to complete a spell of bowling that would tear the Flints middle order apart like Vanessa Felts eating a pasty. His elasticated pacey spinning deliveries where un playable from the first rubber armed ball. The Flintham batsman succumbed one after the other as stinger peppered the pegs with incredible dexterity. A swift four wicket haul splintering the oppositions order. No 2 son, and Angus Angie Simpson ably assisted by Jack Dakers Dakin , mopped up the remaining number with some beautiful accurate bowling. I commented to Dakers junior that his father must have some form of underground training camp for young cricketers in the Toro Bora mountain range where he has confined them to a relentless schedule of drills, such has been their improvement. Not just in Dakers juniors form but all the boys over the closed season.

The shell shocked Flintham squad shuffled into the pavilion with 61 on the board. However, Barry`s incredible mind blowing APP had the score at 64? So we bowed to technology, and Christof pulled his Staedler high velocity rubber from his pencil case and adjusted the total accordingly.

Pavilion orders- just knock them off and quickly, as I had five a side at 9 o`clock!!! Sensible shot making and partnerships actually, and the total shouldn’t be any concern.

Josh The Force North and Tom Willie Wilson were scribed to be the opening pair. I had spotted a familiar hobbling gait from the force as he returned to the pavilion, and fearing one of his Darren Anderton tallying injuries, I tentatively enquired into his health and was met with ` No problem just tight boots! `

The Flints skipper and fellow opener were dangerous. Early exchanges were as tight as Katie Price`s forehead, and runs were surprisingly short. The force nicked a couple of singles, before holing out to mid-wicket. But Willie looked set and unruffled. Fin` Whacksome` Jackson arrived mid-wicket, and looked lively. Unfortunately, he was sent a packing after looping one to square leg. I must have been the only person watching, that noticed the ambling figure of Whacksome`s dad Ash, strolling nonchalantly, and directly behind the arm of the wicket taking bowler at the time of his sons batting demise. Thankfully Fin didn’t, and family harmony was maintained. The Hammer Hammond was next, and sprinted to the square eager as ever, to pummel the bowling. His innings was as swift as his entrance, as he was superbly claimed by a salmon like leaping double handed clutch at cover. The Hammer froze, momentarily rooted by shock at the fine effort. No2 son arrived, and was shortly done by some ridiculous misfortune. A Flint erratic bowler flung down a straight one that lifted no higher than Frodo Baggins big toe nail, and scuttled onto the bottom of his stumps. A brief, but stern Vader like glare at his father at square leg was fruitless, and he grumbled back to the hutch. Willie was now fortunately seeing the leather like a beach ball, and was placing it to all four corners of the Bakewell pudding soft out-field, and a fine retirement score duly arrived. Howitzer Howell then blazed a couple of his customary artillery shell blows to scatter the infield, but also succumbed caught wicket mid-wicket. It looked as though Willie Wilson could be recalled such was the disintegration of our line-up. Angus Angie Simpson arrived and looked classy. A fine early drive to mid-on and a swift single, was accompanied by an equally speedy gather and bung from the young Swayze like Point Break Flintham skipper. The bails tumbled, as did young Angie`s usual calmness, as he implored with me that he was across the threshold. A call for the third umpire and TV replays would have clarified my decision that Master Simpson was regretfully left adrift with bat aloft of the crease. The temptation to ignore this was unbearable, but never the less, fairness was the winner, and as my finger trembled heavenward Angus stomped towards the pavilion fuming like Gordon Ramsey with a migraine.

With just three runs needed, we had two lads in the hutch, and the prospect of Willie Wilson returning from his rest should he be required. Ollie Gunner Glasgow was then scarily close to being the first ever junior cricketer ever to be timed out, as he and junior Dakers wrestled like Daddy and Haystacks with pads and ill-fitting helmets before emerging wicket side a full five minutes later. With the glorious evening sun disappearing behind the surrounding emerald vegetation, the temperature dropped from equatorial, to arctic in milliseconds. My umpiring garb, of light gauge fitness shorts and t-shirt was no match for the plummeting temperature, as my perspiring forelock was now starting to ice up. I was now praying for the final illusive runs, or dare I say it, as my hands started to resemble Sir Ranolph Fiennes blackened frost bitten mitts, my lads few remaining wickets. As luck would have it, Gunner then carved a beautiful half volley through mid-wicket to save the day and my deteriorating digits.

Barry was very gracious in defeat, and even indicated he would forward a link for his electrical ump APP. Whilst I appreciated the kindness of this gesture, some things need to stay old school. So with that I tucked my six dusty pebbles into Christof’s rucksack, and prepared for a very quiet drive home with No2 son.

In summary- What a start! Brilliant bowling / fielding performance, super batting, with some smashing debuts and all round examples of massive improvement. Keep it up boys- onwards and upwards.

Si and Chris.

Sign On

Registration Night for new season is this Friday 1st April. Juniors at 6.30pm Adults at 7.30pm at the New Field of Dreams. Bobby’s Bar will be open and fully stocked.

KCC History Website

The KCC History Website has been updated and all senior, colt and junior players and officials during the 2015 season are included. for access or via the History button on the KCC website.

We are indebted to the continued support and assistance of our main sponsor Matt Burton and in helping us maintain this website.