Hit For Six
Another baptism of fire for the Stiffs at home to Woodborough. We’re struggling so far to adapt to a rise in class and a radically different pitch. The days of restricting teams to 150 at the Rec’ and grinding out a run chase look long gone.
Still, a lot more valuable experience for the Youth Policy with Zac, Tom, Ben and Macca given every chance alongside the usual has-beens. We also welcomed back not one, but two umpires, Evergreen Ern’ joining Dimps in the white coat (and bobble hat in Ern’s case to keep out the wind).
Cowlard won the toss and things went mostly uphill from there. We started reasonably on a seaming pitch that bore more scars than a retiring prop forward’s face, after the U13s game the previous evening. Cowlard bowled a fine spell taking 3-26 off his 12 overs to limit the visitors to 56-4 off 20 overs.
Nothing prepared us though for the post drinks onslaught as Woodborough’s no.6 smashed an amazing unbeaten 145 with 11 sixes and 13 fours. Made worse in the knowledge that he made a duck in the previous game.
We had only ourselves to blame. First Cowlard dropped him at slip in single figures. Then a Boss Hogg calamity. On a slate grey day Leggy discovered that his reactolite rapide glasses had developed a fixed Stevie Wonder tint. A skied top edge eventually landed on a good length, but not before Beakey had put on the brakes refusing to navigate the stumps, leaving Leggy to grope at thin air, falling to his knees like a pig rooting for truffles. Meeky and Leggy then disappeared repeatedly to the cow corner boundary. Macca, Ben and Tom tried to stem the flow without luck.
At 250-5 in the 43rd over AC called up Paul Newell for a bowl, who bowled a double wicket maiden! Sadly the damage had been done and the visitors finished on 260-7, about 160 more than was needed. Our new hi-tech analysis package on trial from Pie Sports graphically revealed the damage.
Mrs Cowlard had prepared a superb tea on a Eurovision theme. The German bratwurst kartoffeln was a bavarian highlight, supported by Spanish stuffed olives and Italian pasta with lardons. The UK was represented by McVities ginger cake. Leggy docked the spread a point for not being filling enough, but then nothing rarely is for him. We were once again thankful to young ‘Blackers’ Blacklock for a stint on washing up duty as part of a season long volunteer role as part of his Duke of Edinburgh Award.
In reply we set off looking to match Bonnie Tyler’s likely points tally in Eurovision. Not content with scoring a ton, Woodborough’s top man dismissed young Zac Tudor first ball. Tom and Beakey followed soon after. Drurs (16) and Cowlard (17) hung around for nowhere near long enough, and only Meeky flourished with a typically bullish 42. 100 all out.
Express Delivery
A fleeting but welcome return for KCC legend Vinny Tuckwell, enough to send village batters reaching for excuses to drop out of weekend fixtures for fear of facing the Tollerton Express.
Sadly the leader of the Australian branch of the KCC supporter’s club was back in Notts for just 24 hours preparing for his Summer wedding. The great news is that the Express has committed to at least one game in the 2015 bicentenary season.
For Whom The Bells Toll
He’s back, the modern day Enid Blyton, it’s the weekly Bim Phoenix match report……
The U14 young guns were on the road again for another fixture in a cricket schedule packed tighter than an Albanian cargo lorry at Calais.
A relatively short jaunt, to the golden nugget of a cricket ground at Thrumpton. Cloaked by rolling greenery, the bowl shaped pitch was just begging for a game fit for the surroundings. Thrumpton’s entire population of 33, plus one dog, and an old gentleman in a mobility scooter, who I think could have been Windy Miller, were gathered eagerly awaiting the cricketing banquet set out before them.
Coach Cox, who only 30 minutes before arrival had been in Lady Bay chipping away a pensioner’s avacado tiles, somehow managed to, not only, complete his task, but forge his way through rush hour traffic, and somehow fit in a cleansing shower during his Micheal Palin style trek to our rally point.
Due to his ridiculous pre match schedule a dazed Darron politely suggested to me that he would like to go out to graze at the square as ump’ and get his head together!! I was handed the scorebook and a pencil that was a leadless as a church roof in the Meadows.
With a late drop out, the firefighter of selection, that is Leggy, extingushed potential flames, with the inclusion of Oscar `Tweeker` Brown, to the ranks. Tom `Blackers` Blacklock won the toss and confidently stuck his team in to bat. Such is the mind set of Blackers, he rightly has total belief in his ability and was the first back in the dressing room ready to get at them.
The order was read, and a few eyebrows were raised as the Cox/ Phoenix plan of throwing a few boys in the cricketing deep end without buoyancy was realised. Cox junior’s eyebrows erupted off his forehead and flew out the window as he was announced at 2. Charlie `Allers` Allison reacted to his birth at number 5 with stoic calmness, and Charlie `Chazzer` Walker’s guffaw at his inclusion at 6 gave his team mates amusement.
The friendly opposition scorer, who was obviously on flexitime from her position at the East Midlands’ weather station, indicated that any potential black clouds would drift harmlessly past us along the Trent, and deposit its jetsum on the good folk of Attenborough or Clifton. I was relieved to hear this as I had left my waders in the car.
Blackers and Cox Junior opened up and Blackers again took of from where he left……which is basically in the groove. Sensible shot making keen running and regular scoring. With fifteen on the board though, Coxy, who had struggled a little with the slowness of the track, mistimed a drive to mid on and was snaffled to the joy of the Thrumpton posse.
Enter Tabers!! Mathew ‘Tabers’ Taberham, one of the most technically gifted players in the squad appeared up for the task, and how?? He and Blackers put together a partnership that could have resulted in both having to retire. Unfortunately they were both undone by the only poor shot decisions of their innings’s. Both went for unfamiliar slogs and the stumps were broken as was their terrific partnership Blackers making a fine 31 and Tabers 33.
Charlie ‘Allers’ Allison kept the run rate up with a few quick ones before he was stumped like Joey Essex doing the Times Cryptic. Charlie ‘Chazzer’ Walker also nicked a few singles until another of the Cheeky Chrupping keepers flea quick stumpings saw the end of Chazza also, if indeed he had connected, the ball would have landed in one of the rain soaked gardens of Attenborough.
Mathew ‘Beenie’ Bain who fresh from a terrific senior baptism at the weekend, steadied the ship along with Ben ‘Willie’ Wilson at the other end giving support that Katie Price’s shoulders would have appreciated.
No more damage and we arrived at half time 85 for 5.
It was at this stage that the local parson, who must have had his son playing, attempted to play his trump card in annoyance. The assembled throng of campanologists in the bell tower of Thrumpton Church peeled out chimes at two thousand decibells for the next six overs in an attempt to usettle our bowlers. Our boys stuck to their task all be it with blood caked eardrums.
Phoeno and Willie Wilson opened up and bowled neatly. No wickets but economical. The first change brought on Mathew ‘Tabers’ Taberham and Mathew ‘Beenie’ Bain. Tabers resorting to devilish spin, possibly due to the expeniditure of energy during his barnstorming bat. The other end Beenie showed why he claimed two senior scalps last weekend. His line and length were impecable and combined with some cutting seam that made his deliveries almost as unplayable as Carlton Palmer. The wickets started to come as our superior bowling attack tightened the screw. Oscar `Tweaker` Brown chipped in with an effortless display of controlled spin, and rightly claimed a wicket for his great work.
During this period the unfortunate Coxy spilled three catches that he would normally, as one of our safer fielders, have snaffled like a Gloucester Old Spot who had missed lunch. After the third his head fell like an anaethetised Bison. However, not many players would do what Coxy did next, immediately asked to bowl!!! Well done Coxy…….. He then got hit for a six!! But undeterred, and against Tom Howie, their only real threat to our scoreline who had reached 30 in no time, claimed his wicket and snuffed out any embers that still glowed in the Thrumpton armoury.
Thrumpton finished 77 for 8. A real team performance and our first win of the season, lets keep it up fellas!!!
I would like to also highlight, and highlight is most definitely the right word, because it is already a contender for champagne moment of the season two games in. The ball mid innings was shelled like a glowing meteor towards Charlie `Chazzer` Walker, who swooped like an osprey, gathered the smoldering rock one handed and launched it stumpwards, like a bullwhip. It smashed into the pegs at lightspeed before the batsman could consider running to safety. The assembled masses at the pavilion instantly roared their approval at this outstanding piece of fielding, which perfectly outlined that everyone can play a part.
Well done lads….. Until next time
Yours, Bimmer
(Not Quite) Blown Away
Paul Newell reports from behind a wind-break at Radcliffe ………..
Another tough day at the office for the U15 squad but a very spirited performance against Radcliffe meant a defeat but no disgrace.
Miserably cold and excessively windy conditions greeted us by the A52 on a day when the weather looked odds on to be the winner. However the game started on time and other than a 10 minute downpour, the match was uninterrupted.
The young Keyworth side were invited to field in a significantly challenging environment. We should have had Bear Grylls and Ben Fogle opening the bowling but Mackenzie Shepherd and James Robinson did a superb job, causing high quality batsmen all sorts of problems and beating the bat several times. James took an excellent caught and bowled to remove the Radcliffe skipper early on.
Jack Cairns showed his all-rounder skills with a fine spell as first change. At the other end Tom Newell clean bowled his county player school-mate, who will no doubt regret that over the coming weeks at South Wolds.
A top couple of overs from George Flewitt applied the brakes further, with Tom Blacklock getting his compulsory stumping with some style. The rain arrived and just as the umpire (big Jessie coach Newell) was running for the pavilion, George was skied into the off side and was snaffled by the large mitts of Joe Cox – umpire Newell catching a glance of it over his shoulder from the boundary.
Charlie Malik bowled tidily without reward. The junior players – Joe Cox, Liam Woods and Alex Newell – were given the crunch overs and all bowled extremely well against the Radcliffe hitters. Two sharp run outs – one from a brilliant 30 yard direct throw from Mackenzie – kept the home side to 122-6. A good score but 36 runs less than on our last visit.
Blacklock and Shepherd started with panache – one sumptious off drive from Macca was worth the entrance fee alone (ok, it was free but you get my point). They were set fair until an unfortunate mix-up resulted in a run out. Blackers saw a quick two where Macca saw an easy one. That makes for trouble.
Tom Newell and Jack Cairns took a safety first approach against good bowling, determined not to repeat our 100-plus run defeat back in April. Our final score of 78-3 was a very decent reply, with the highlights being a majestic lofted off drive by Jack, and a leg-side boundary by Tom – showing some attacking instinct to go with his watchful defence.
Very brave effort lads. That performance will win matches against lesser teams. Coach Newell has rarely been more proud.
Team News
After last week’s washout on Saturday, here’s to the sun shining (highly optimistic looking at the forecast!) and a trio of wins for our adult teams. The Firsts are away to Gotham, with the Seconds at home to Woodborough. Legge’s XI, after another win last weekend, are away at Gedling & Sherwood.
Contacts:- 1st XI – Geoff – 07793 039002 2nd XI – Andy C – 07722 116328 Legge’s XI – 07804 828543
| 18th May | 18th May | 19th May | |
| First Team (SNCL Div B) | Second Team (SNCL Div J) | Sunday (Newark Alliance) | |
| Versus | Gotham 1st XI | Woodborough | Gedling & Sherwood (away) |
| Venue | Nottingham Road, Gotham |
New Field of Dreams, Platt Lane |
Regatta Way, Holme Pierrepont |
| NG11 0HB | |||
| Start | 1.00pm | 1.30pm | 2.00 pm |
| Meet at Ground 12.15pm | Meet at Ground 12.30pm | Meet at Ground 1.30 pm | |
| 1 | Geoff Tindsley (c) | Andy Cowlard (c) | Geoff Tindsley |
| 2 | Tom Randall (wk) | Rob Beake (wk) | Beakey |
| 3 | Ian Graham | Richard Drury | Drurs |
| 4 | Ben Elliott | Tom Newell | Tom Newell |
| 5 | Steve Rendu | Ben Healey | Duncan Tarran |
| 6 | Dave Strong | Billy Harrison | Matt Bain |
| 7 | Ian Kitchinson | Leggy | Leggy |
| 8 | Andy Hiller | Meeky | Miles Chamberlain |
| 9 | David Hiller | Mackenzie Shepherd | Oscar Brown? |
| 10 | Liam Elliott | Paul Newell | Matty Antcliffe? |
| 11 | Duncan Tarran | Zac Tudor | Joe Cox? |
| 12 | tbc | tbc | tbc |
| 13 | tbc | tbc | tbc |
| Teas | n/a | Andy ‘Ramsey’ Cowlard | n/a |
| Scorer | Super Shelley Beales | ? | n/a |
| Umpire | Panel Umpire | Dimps | n/a |
Here Comes The Rain Again
The highlight of most people’s week. Things can only get better from here. It’s a Bim Phoenix U14′s match report. Warning this report contains dreadful puns and strobe lighting ……..
Our second match of the season lined us up against Flintham C.C Under 15s in a Newark league fixture at the New Field of Dreams.
The earlier meteorological report received from our very own Michael Fish, Mr Legge, indicated that there definitely would not be any hurricane, and that the match should progress in the usual manner.
Leggy, as always, indicated he would be first at the ground in good time. Now I have always thought this was due to the fact that Mr Legge is a total club man, and is the fulcrum of Keyworth CC. I now have a sneaking suspicion that there are other reasons for his impeccable time keeping. On entering the changing rooms, a strange fluorescent glow was emanating from some weird lighting, which Chris assured me was standard issue pavilion bulbing. I on the other hand think they resembled hash harvesting tubing, for Mr Legge’s dubious sideline!!
The cumulo nimbus gathered westward like a dark brooding horde of menacing hoodies, as the first ranks of the Flintham eleven drifted in. Henry, the very pleasant Flintham manager, who resembled a Countryfile gent, greeted me as though I had just thrown myself in front him to block a bloodied Zulu spear at Rorke’s Drift. The Flintham ranks were swelled by their own version of the Gibb brothers, the Slacks! and believe me, don’t be fooled by the name. Their father Lee, an old friend and former work colleague of mine produced these triplets in one swoop nearly 15 years ago, and they had obviously been to the Baines/Cox school of growth. The rest of their throng were all carved from similar Newark regional oak.
Hooray Henry reminded me that I needed to know the rules, and as hosts, told me that we were to bat. The boys nervously shuffled into the changing rooms, like a school party arriving at Jimmy Tarbuck’s book signing. The order was announced, and Tom ‘Blackers’ Blacklock, and Jack ‘Stonewall’ Rhodes padded up ready for the Slack Brothers onslaught. Blackers and wing man Rhodes, fresh from their fine opening performance at Plumtree, strode out to the wicket with the togetherness of newly wed sweethearts to face the Flintham pace attack.
To my surprise, the Brothers Slack were not first choice, they must have had a pre-match meal that Michelle McManus would have struggled with, and were waiting for it to digest fully.
The opening bowling pair, whilst useful, were immediately dealt with by our opening dynamic duo. They raced to 16 from the first couple of overs, and looked set to repeat the treatment given to Plumtree. Unfortunately though, the Slack boys had slept off their enormous feast, and were ready for action. From both ends they raced in, like cricketing Princes, Connor the blond Wills, and Jordon the ginger Hewitt.
Blackers nicked a flyer from Wills, which smacked into the keepers gloves, like a right hook from Cheryl Cole on a toilet attendant. Stonewall then fell, scooping a drive up into the grateful bucket sized hands of the third Prince, Calum, at point.
The new batsmen Matt ‘Tabers’ Taberham, and Joe ‘Bainsey’ Baines, showed no signs of nerves from the Slack barrage, and effortlessly stroked four smashing boundaries between them in rapid succession. The weight of water vapour was too much for the sagging nimbus above, and the clouds opened!!! Henry, who was no doubt used to regularly chasing foxes across his land in these conditions, was surprised to see us running towards the pavilion for cover.
The deluge rapidly subsided, and we returned to action, only for Tabers to be cleaned up first ball back with an exocet from Slack-C. He then increased his tally, as Bainsey nicked a flyer and the keeper snaffled it like a famished tramp.
Matt ‘Beenie’ Bain and Joe ‘Coxy’ Cox teamed up briefly….. Coxy, who, when in full flight, could give a fully injected Dwaine Chambers a run for his money, had a mid-wicket misunderstanding with Beenie. This left poor Coxy stranded like a Giraffe on roller skates . He didn’t even look for the signal, as he mumbled his way back to the pavilion, and the precipitation arrived once again.
Miles ‘Chambers’ Chamberlain who has manfully recovered from a David Buust-like leg break, entered the fray. Unfortunately Chambers and fellow partner Beenie weren’t allowed further opportunity to increase their own, or the team’s scores as the heavens opened once more. This time Henry applied the brakes on the match. He obviously had to get back to feed the hounds, and make sure his Gilly had flushed his Pheasant for the morning’s shoot.
44 for 5 from 9 overs. A decent run rate against a good, big, strong team. Will look forward to Leggy trying to fit another fixture into his schedule.
Until next time….. Yours, Bimmer
Back To Winning Ways
El Pres Baker reports on the U13s……..
The Under 13s got back to winning ways with a comfortable 57 run victory over Attenborough CC at a damp and windy Platt Lane on Sunday morning (12 May).
Jack Rhodes was caught behind for a duck but then Liam Woods (22) and Matty Antcliff (19) shared a 39 run partnership before a middle order collapse. Sam Foster and George Staton both perishing for a duck and Oscar Brown for 2 as the visitors held on to their catches. Oscar Malik added some calm to the situation making a confident 10 before leaving KCC’s usual opening bowling pair Euan McGuinness (19no) and Alex Newell (14no) to bat out the rest of the 20 overs for a 36 run unbeaten partnership, and a total of 112 for 7 wickets. This would probably have been worth 130 earlier in the season as the wet outfield meant many 2’s being run that would usually have gone for 4. McGuinness and Newell provided a comedy show along the way with their running between the wickets, or rather their lack of calling and running between the wickets which on two occasions saw Euan, slip and sitting on his backside in the middle of the pitch and lucky enough to survive as the visitors bungled their run out attempts.
Attenborough were on the back foot from the very start of their innings as their leading batsman got a nasty blow on the thigh from the pacey Jack Rhodes (4 overs, 1 maiden, 10 runs, 3 wkts) and retired hurt. Jacko then reeled off three ‘clean bowleds’ in his next seven deliveries whilst Matt Mills (4-2-12-2) picked up two wickets from the other end to leave the visitors reeling on 12 for 5 wickets off 6 overs. The injured opener bravely returned with a ‘runner’ and showed what his team had been missing as he rapidly moved to 29 before his ‘runner’ was run out by the quick and alert KCC fielders. From 54 for 7 off 12 overs, Oscar Brown (4-1-14-1) and Liam Stevenson (3.1-1-11-3) polished off the tail as Attenborough finished on 55 as rain threatened once again.
A victory achieved without the need to use some of the main bowlers, Euan McGuinness, Alex Newell, Liam Woods, George Staton, etc. and some confidence restored after the setback against West Bridgfordians CC four days earlier.
Same Old Story
The Stiffs secured six points for just six overs work. Sadly this was from an abandonment as the forecast heavy showers arrived and washed out play at the New Field of Dreams.
There was much pre match mirth with Meeky back in the side after a year or so’s absence. The all-time legend had bought a new pair of whites that would have been too long for Laddy, and set about showing why an E grade in CSE needlework was no fluke.
Meanwhile the most useless kit bag accessory was a bottle of factor 30 for a Lowry-like backdrop
With the rain scything down we waited long enough for Mrs Legge to prepare her usual Italian banchetto. The legendary pasta al tonno was sadly missed after a shopping basket error by Boss Hogg, but the vegetariani insalata di fagioli chili was a more than able replacement. Cocktail sausages and Bakewell slices were more appreciated by the Youth Policy’s less developed palates.
Man on the match was Tuckers … for a stirring display in centre mid’ for KUCFC on the adjoining pitch.
Road to Trent Bridge
Our journey back to the big time starts on Monday evening May 20th. We take on old friends Risley CC in the T20 Cup at the New Field of Dreams.
13′s Bubble Burst
Club President Barry Baker reports from a damp New Field of Dreams….
The Under 13 (former U12) squad’s unbeaten record disappeared into the drizzle and rain showers down at Platt Lane in a tight finish on Wednesday evening, 8 May. We had the more difficult conditions in which to bowl with a ball that constantly needed drying with a rag. The match was lost in the first few overs of the contest and the KCC players had done outstandingly well to push their opponents West Bridgfordians CC all the way for victory.
The wise old sage that is Leggy remarked during the warm up, “these boys are not on it tonight, their minds seem to be all over the place” and so it proved. Bridgford opened with two impressive quick bowlers and from the second ball of the match Liam Woods snicked a catch to the keeper which wasn’t held and took a run. Jack Rhodes was now facing and got a peach of a delivery and his stumps shattered. In comes Matty Antcliff and using the pace off the ball, he collects three well struck boundaries, then Woods (7) is bowled and KCC are 23 for 2. Three deliveries latter Sam Foster (0) is marching back to the pavilion swiftly followed by Antcliff (12) and the top order has been blown away in the first four overs and KCC are 23 for 4.
The two Oscars, Brown and Malik, rallied briefly against Bridgford’s first change bowlers then the wickets started steadily falling again, Malik (4), Brown (9), George Staton (2), Alex Newell, a first ball duck and Euan McGuinness (3). With KCC 54 for 9 the last two, Greg Cameron (7no) and Eddie McGarry-Dushaj are at the wicket with 7 overs still left but with some good running between the wickets and some sensible stroke play they are able to take the score up to 68 before McGarry (2) is bowled in the 17th over. KCC probably 25 runs short of a good score given that the light is now failing and fine drizzle has settled in for the evening.
The half time dressing room chat is all about being focused and understanding that the Bridgford boys have still got to bat in these conditions and Euan McGuinness (4 overs, 2 maidens, 5 runs, 1 wicket) and Alex Newell (4-1-10-1) backed up by some lively fielding soon have the visitors reeling on 6 for 2 wickets after 4 overs, the second dismissal nearly a catastrophe as Newell the bowler and two fielders all converge in a melee for the same catch but ‘safe hands’ Oscar Malik emerges smiling and clutching the ball.
The visitors opening bowler Freddie Towne with 3 wickets already under his belt then showed his skill with the bat as he set about overcoming Keyworth’s resistance almost single-handedly. Oscar Brown (4-0-18-1) still brave enough to flight his leg spin with a ball that must have felt like soap in his hands had his figures damaged by a mighty six from Towne which but for the President leaping up from scoring with an outstretched hand was on it’s way through the pavilion window, taking the watching Welfare Officer, Vanessa Healey with it as well. The pace of Jack Rhodes (3-0-17-0) was deftly used by the visitors batsmen and Liam Woods (3-0-6-1) was more economical in the conditions. Towne timed his innings perfectly, having to retire undefeated on 35 on the penultimate delivery of the match with just two overs remaining.
A close encounter in very difficult conditions and credit to Leggy and the Bridgford umpire for staying out on this miserable evening which included some heavy showers as well and the families and supporters huddled under the ‘lean to’ roof of the pavilion. The Keyworth lads went down fighting, not forgetting a memorable performance by Sam Foster keeping wicket on a skiddy surface.
