The One That Got Away
The poor weather put paid to @tindsley taking this year’s KCC Mastertea to a whole new level. The Skip’ had spent the close season perfecting his ultimate cake creation; a double-layer chocolate sponge, with chocolate icing surround, topped with giant Cadbury’s Buttons, and KCC personalisation for an extra half point. Two dimensions simply can’t do justice to this fantastic creation.
It didn’t go to waste as true athletes @drurs2001, @tindsley and custard-abs @DRH83 simply divided it into thirds.
A high standard to follow at such an early stage of the season: 8/10
Game Off
Overnight rain has done for the already sodden Field of Wet Dreams. Keep dreaming of a Summer.
Twelves Up And Att ‘em
President and Coach Barry Baker reports from Platt Lane …..
Thursday, and a classic Platt Lane evening of black cloudy skies and biting cold wind saw the Under 12’s match debut end in a merited victory; leaving the ‘coaching team’ bursting with joy as they witnessed ‘net’ drills followed to the letter although it will be a case of ‘must do better when fielding’ in the future.
A well turned out, heavily supported Attenborough team, were nothing short of brilliant in the field with four catches held and none dropped – two of which were outstanding - and the general ball stopping, handling, throwing and backing up set a good tone for the evening. But, they were frustrated as their best bowlers were unable to penetrate the patience of the KCC early order. Classical forward defensive shots, the occasional late cut, and square drive, featured far more than the leg side ‘swish’ normally seen at this level, Liam Stevenson a feature with a steady 5 runs created by deft footwork.
Wickets fell at a steady rate from the penetrative bowling and superb catching until Oscar Malik (15 not out) and George Staton (7 not out) set about the visitors less experienced bowlers in the closing overs as KCC finished their 20 overs with 60 runs for 7 wickets down – a modest total that had been crafted in Drurs like fashion and showed promise for the future. Three boundaries only, with two coming from the blade of Malik.
Line and length was the buzz word in the dressing room at the interval and KCC’s opening quartet of Euan McGuiness, Matt Mills, Alex Newell and Liam Woods followed the instructions…and some !
First ball and the gentle giant McGuiness scattered the visiting opener’s stumps with a pacey ‘yorker’. Two byes and seventeen ‘dot’ balls later Sam Foster snaps up a catch and then the stumps are shattered again three balls later by Mills and the ‘Boro are reeling at 3 wickets down. KCC rest their openers and after another four deliveries Newell grabs a plumb LBW and the visitors have 4 runs on the scoreboard (3 byes and a leg bye) and four of the top order gone.
KCC’s tight grip on the match is sustained as the visitors ‘dug in’ and reached the halfway stage with 18 runs off 10 overs. KCC continue to give everybody a bowl and with the assistance of some ‘wides’, there is a patient knock by ‘Boro’s opener Billy Jones who carried his bat almost through the innings, scoring 10 runs and was eighth out.
At 15 overs, Umpire Leggy sends skipper Liam Woods over to the President who is scoring with the question “shall I bring back our main bowlers to polish them off?”, “it’s up to Leggy, he’s the boss” is the weak reply and with an ironic smile from Leggy, under 10 Joseph Tudor continues to bowl and picks up a wicket before Mills is brought back to stem the flow of runs. Attenborough close at 53 runs for 8 wkts.
McGuiness 2-2-0-2; Mills 4-2-3-1, Newell 2-0-5-1, Woods 2-1-1-0, Foster 2-0-6-0, Oscar Brown, confident tossing up his leg breaks 2-1-2-0, Staton 2-0-5-1, Malik 2-1-4-2 and Tudor 2-0-7-1; all heroes, and not forgetting the fine fielding of little Patrick Cawthorn, and the outstanding wicket keeping of Liam Stevenson, who very much impressed the visitor’s coach. But, the Man-of-the-Match Award must go to Oscar Malik for a very confident all-round performance.
Boys to Men
@tuckers78 reports from Ellerslie …..
At the fourth time of asking the 15s got their season underway, on the road to Ellerslie. All the familiar faces were back for another instalment keen to build on last years’ progress.
Normington won the toss and being brought up with the bat-first-Keyworth philosophy, duly did so, with Tudor and Machin opening up. The first clip for Carry-on Keyworth occurred on the first ball. Tudor spooned a leg side top edge behind. The keeper went a little bit Chuckle Brother – to me, to you – but to Tudor’s relief, spilled it. Amidst the carnage Machin suggested to Tudor, who had ambled his way down to no-man’s land, that with the ball still being live, he should be thinking about returning to the crease. The ball circumnavigated the stumps before Tudor planted his size 8 and shouted ‘in’. On the second ball… Ok, I’ll keep it succinct.
Machin (2) was unsettled and chipped to the covers in the 4th. over which brought the skipper to the crease. A couple of looping forward prods evaded the fielders, before the pair got into their stride. Tudor was busily amassing a Drury like 50 to the field, before some deft angled shots and fine running saw the pair put on a run a ball 44. Tudor (16) departed after a fine knock with us handily placed on 59-2 at the halfway stage.
Last seasons’ batsman of the year, Healey, took a handful of balls to get a sighter, before launching the seasons’ first maximum onto the roof of the nets, scattering the spectators. Leggy was shivering at square leg claiming he had never been so cold. While the KCC home support were playing musical chairs trying to stay in the sunlight. The peace was further disrupted with the debut of Riley Tuckwell (don’t drop him Tuckers), happy for some cuddles, but less than impressed with being removed from the warmth of the indoors. Newell Jnr took over the scoring and looks a fine apprentice in the making. Fantastic backing up and chanceless batting saw the pair put on 66 for the 3rd wicket. Normington finishing on 23* and Healey 33*
126-2 off 20 was an imperious total, helped with 52 extras!
The KCC boys, youths, young men… returned to the field in buoyant fashion.
Steiner and Brown opened up and immediately turned the screw, leaving the home side on 5-2 off 4 overs. Brown was immediately in the grove sending the middle stump cart-wheeling. A wicket maiden followed with the skipper safe as houses under a routine catch at mid on. Newell and Stolworthy were the first change and kept the pressure on. After being hit to the boundary, Newell responded brilliantly by rearranging the stumps with the next ball. Stolworthy forced a lofted cover drive by the number 5 who chipped to Tudor.
A faultless fielding performance was topped with two excellent run outs. The batsman unwisely chanced a second run to Healey and Newell who both fired with laser like accuracy into Hennessy’s gloves.
Nice and Mills bowled and excellent three overs a piece with lots of flight, pace line and length against a duo who put on 45 for the final wicket. The opener carried his bat for an industrious 21* which was just topped by his partner who finished with 23*.
Leggy was beaming from ear to ear, or maybe his earlier smile had just frozen into place. Either way a comprehensive and impressive opening performance, which was well worth waiting for.
Bowling: Brown: 4-1-10-2; Steiner: 4-1-13-0; Stolworthy: 3-0-6-1; Nice: 3-0-8-0; Mills: 3-0-19-0
More Poor Banter
Welcome to latest followers @butchbeake @TomRandall4 @panewell67 @TomNewell88. Note the clever use of career batting averages in their user names! Only joking.
You can keep up with all the poor banter and live match updates on Twitter @keyworthcricket or through #keyworthcc. What are you waiting for? You’ll never get the time back.
And In Junior News
“The Platt Lane Fortress”…er…isn’t one……
@tuckers78 reports …… The U14s welcomed Wollaton in the round-robin U15 Cup competition (don’t ask – it’s complicated). The experienced pair of U15s (Tudor and Hennessy) opened up proceedings under a blanket of cloud. The accuracy of the Wollaton bowling made runs scoring difficult but both batsmen played straight. Tight singles were required but Hennessy paid the price for watching the ball instead of running hard and was run out with a direct hit. Nice came and went as another tight delivery nipped back to remove middle. Tudor proved another adage if you’re going to hit it, hit it hard as a couple of drives flew over backward point.
The accurate bowling and slow outfield made life difficult and 11-2 after 6 overs was understandable. Wollaton were right on top after Tudor departed for 10 and the score was 28-3 at the half way mark. In the Newark League, at least 6 bowlers are required to bowl 3 overs each and it’s often the depth of bowling that determines games. Newell and Shepherd began to swing the advantage with a fine array of shot making that in normal conditions would have raced to the boundary. Shepherd was fortunate on 2 occasions that he only needed 9 strides to make it from one end to the other as he just avoided the second run out of the innings.
Head Coach Newell failed to cope with his nerves, and appeared to have a breakdown at this point. He changed clothes from his tracksuit into a dinner jacket and bow tie, and left the ground in a rush claiming to be off to an awards ceremony. Later reports of Newell being seen at the BAFTAs were inaccurate but has been seen moonlighting as a waiter at the Indian Nights.
Shepherd fell for an excellent 15 but this brought fans favourite, Cairns, who instantly lit the touch paper with the fine scampering and deft shot making to which we have become accustomed. Fiskerton 2011 anybody..? In true unselfish form, Cairns sacrificed himself off the penultimate ball returning for a tight second. All the while Newell was crafting another chanceless knock – 29 not out a decent return for the red-inker specialist. Wilkins came in for the final delivery and duly smashed it for 4, making his rugby playing pals on the opposition take note! An unlikely yet decent 80-5 was reached off the 18 overs to post a competitive total.
Shepherd and Cairns were tidy but the loose ball was carted with confidence to the boundary. The fielding remained sharp from the KCC XI but the talented Wollaton opener was in no mood to hang around and was intent on finishing the game as quickly as possible. A couple of chances drifted agonisingly over finger tips but it was not to be. The opener let loose with the change bowlers and notched up a couple of hefty sixes. Wilkins was the only one to stem the flow with two economical overs. In the older age groups, the retirement target is 50 – and this was reached inside 10 overs with game as good as finished. Malik made the solitary break through with Newell safe as houses taking the catch at deep square leg.
A chastening defeat after the Ellerslie win – could we bounce back against Radcliffe on Sunday morning…….
U14’s bounce back against Radcliffe on Sunday morning…..
@panewell67 reports….. The headline gives the game away, but it’s the only time that’s happening here. A quality team performance saw the U14 back on form on a glorious Sunday morning at sunny Radcliffe.
The perky pair of Blacklock and Chamberlain opened the innings, and made aggressive running a priority with a slow outfield and an accurate all-female opening attack. One cheeky single too many saw the departure of Chamberlain, but he was replaced by Nice and the runs kept coming. A wicket maiden in the 10th over accounted for Blacklock for an excellent 21, with the score on 39 – a platform for a score. Newell joined Nice and the two Chuckle Brothers showed their telepathic understanding by repeatedly running restless Radcliffe ragged (you try saying that after a bottle of red wine). Despite not managing a boundary between them they added 51 unbeaten runs for the third wicket in the final 8 overs, establishing a very decent total of 90-2. Newell finished on 28* and Nice was 23*. Shepherd, Wilkins, Rock and Brown – all padded up awaiting a batting collapse worthy of the seniors – were disappointed not to see some action.
In the field, Keyworth were superb. Only four wides were conceded over 18 overs and, supported by sharp fielding, Radcliffe were put under extreme pressure. The slow outfield contributed to the fact that Radcliffe hit no boundaries at all (compared to Keyworth’s total of 1 – well done Tom B!). Luke Brown bowled the dangerous skipper, and when Joe Nice was given the charge by the other opener he responded with a bouncer. Unbelievably, Tom Blacklock took the ball above his head and executed a fine stumping. All the bowlers hit their line and length immediately – a terrific effort given some loose bowling in the previous match versus Wollaton. Whilst Mackenzie Shepherd returned to terrorise the middle order and demolish the stumps twice, it was left to Tom Rock to bowl the last over and keep the opposition to 73-4. Keyworth were comfortable winners by 17 runs.
New Date For 2020
The Field of Dreams is fit to graze cattle, but little else. We’ve rearranged our 2020 clash against @longeatoncc for Thursday 24th May 5.30 pm.
Rocket Redemption
What a way to start another season of crap match reports with the Millers spudding out for the first losing draw in the club’s history.
@tindsley had secured precisely none of his pre-season transfer targets, so it was a good job we could rely on our Youth section, allowing the skipper to draft in spring chickens @drurs2001, Cowlard, Butch and Kitcho. We were but a Boss Hogg away from an average age of 40. Player of the season 2011 @tuckers78 and one-man-team Graham were missing, while Day Hiller-Sister was still struggling with a bad back from picking up his missus. We were boosted with the news that the Chairman had agreed pre-contract terms with @liamsanders3 over a latte in Bridgford for a one match deal sometime this decade.
Tinno won the toss at the beautiful Hoveringham ground and surprised even himself by bowling first; immediately ruling out the chance of a winning draw.
Rocket was rushing after a morning at ballet, and as usual put his trousers on back-to-front, bulging out uncomfortably with his middle leg. Cowlard appreciated the low slow pitch, and the game plodded on for 15 overs without a wicket. We soon dispensed with a slip and gully, not because there was no chance of an edge, but more to escape the dreadful banter of Tom behind the stumps, who had a whole new repertoire of #poorbanter to accompany the usual ‘a dottie is a hottie’.
@bigbearbaker had expected a postponement and piled into the amber nectar with @lordgeoffreyofL on Friday evening; “I’m having a maximum of four just in case the big match is on”, quipped the vice-skipper, before unsurprisingly topping a gallon before 10pm. The big fella though made the first breakthrough with a leg before.
The home side batted well punishing any bad balls. Kitch bowled a maiden, before being carted into the turnip field for two sixes. The new DJ Sammy fared little better. Tinno was struggling to hide all his fielders. Drurs was about as agile as one of the lions in the Market Square, and many others moved with the freedom of daleks. It was left to @benjani89 to bail us out with a stunning catch, even by his own standards, at extra cover that had @dalecollison closing his book on all end-of-season awards after just 30 overs of the season.
Our travelling support was in high single figures with @LordgeoffreyofL @tedboomboom @RE8ECCA_C and @beetbox43, joining Barry, Little Ern’, and happily Cliff and Jean. Leggy was like a pig in muck with the Reindeer pub backing onto the boundary and stationed himself outside the Boundary Bar with a can of Top Deck shandy, and had a sense of deja-vu as Cowlard returned to bowl a full toss every over that caused even more damage to the cabbages.
48 overs in the field tested your reporter’s powers of concentration to the limit, and some other stuff probably happened, before the home side reached 221-5 at the break, Rocket taking 2-55, Bobby 3-79. Kitch had the @stickypalms fielding point in his grasp before a Tom Daley dive on the boundary saw the award pass to Benji.
KCC Mastertea 2012 got off to a very strong start. Among the many highlights were home-made cheese and pickle scones, pea and potato fritatta, and courgette bhajis, while hula hoops and cocktail sausages satisfied the Youth Policy’s less developed palates. An extra half point came from retro chocolate cornflake cakes and jam centred fairy sponges. Easily 8/10 and limited only by a lack of salad for Drurs.
In reply Tinno took the unusual step of reversing the batting order and we were soon in trouble. Dale went third ball for a duck, Beakey for 9, Tinno himself sulked off for 3, while Drurs was mentally shot after just one innings for 6. Benji soon followed for an edgy 21, and we were in a mess at 44-5.
Our new live Twitter updates were attracting hoots of derision from @bally1001 and @stickyplams, revelling in our woeful plight. They hadn’t bargained though on Rocket and Tommy putting together a fantastic partnership of 114 that brought us right back into the game.
@LordgeoffreyofL was chuckling to himself sat among the locals who were bemused by the rearguard action; “they’ve roped in a couple of bandits here” quipped one regular, as Rocket smashed a series of cracking straight drives.
Pin up boy Tommy Randy, last season’s ‘Housewife’s choice’, had branched out during the close season, securing a big money sponsorship deal as the face of a local brewery, and he didn’t disappoint his new sponsors, with a fine knock of 46, before controversially falling caught behind.
We had a fine tail-end on paper, but both Sam and Bobby fell for ducks, @bigbearbaker lingering for an eternity, staring down the umpire after an LBW, much to the amusement of brother Geoff and the gathered ranks, who saw it missing leg, but not middle.
By this stage with 50 needed off 60 balls, #madeforcowlard was a worldwide trend, but it was short-lived as AC played a trademark across-the-line smear, to depart for 8.
@bally1001 had piled his life savings onto a win for the home side with his old mate Kitch striding in at jack. Kitcho had the last laugh though seeing us to maximum batting points with a lofted extra cover drive to the boundary.
Amidst all the Tweeting, Rocket had played beautifully for 72, and could even afford to turn down singles in the final over, to see us to an improbable losing draw at 192-9 and 8 valuable points.
Still Soggy
The Stiffs home game tomorrow has been cancelled as it’s still unplayable at the Field of Dreams
Sunday Switch
With the Field of Dreams still looking like Rutland Water, Legge’s Eleven’s Sunday fixture v Ernhale has been re-floated to the Platt Lane astroturf. 2pm start. Note to players: Leggy is doing teas so only eat a light lunch!
